What to Write in a Cancer Survivor Card

In the historic period of e-mail and text messages, a handwritten note or carte du jour is an particularly thoughtful gesture. Taking the time to write (and post) a note shows y'all care. And, different emails or text messages, a handwritten note tin can be put on display; a gear up reminder that there are people who are thinking about yous and who wish you well.

As the vacation flavour gets closer, you might be starting to think about sending cards to your friends and family. If you lot accept a loved one who is living with cancer, sending them a vacation menu might feel a bit daunting. Should you mention cancer at all? Talk about your own holiday plans? Effort to be funny or avert making jokes altogether?These questions are normal. It tin can be hard to know what to say to someone with cancer.  But putting pen to paper and writing some comforting words for someone with cancer is a simple mode to provide support; even from a distance.

To help you lot craft the perfect message for the cancer patient in your life, we spoke to Alison and Brian of From Me to Y'all; a letter-writing charity doing fantastic work for cancer patients and their families. As the champions of letter-writing in the cancer community, they know firsthand just how valuable a thoughtful notation can be. Later on all, Alison wrote Brian letters of back up for two years every bit he underwent treatment for bowel cancer. Now, Brian (who is happily cancer free) and Alison run From Me to You together; encouraging cancer patients and their loved ones to commutation letters as a way of connecting and reflecting throughout the cancer experience.

Alison and Brian together. Used with permission from From Me to Y'all.

Without further ado, here are some tried and truthful tips from Alison and Brian (with a few lovely card suggestions thrown in!)

How should I outset my bill of fare?

"The opening line of a letter is often the most difficult," says Alison. If you're at a loss for words, the key is to be honest. Hither are a few suggestions:

If you've been placidity since your loved one'southward diagnosis, address this up-front end:

I bet yous wonder why I haven't been in touch. I just didn't know what to say. I'm at present going to put that right with a letter.

I have no idea how you lot are coping. I find myself, for one time, lost for words, but please know I am thinking of yous.

If zero feels like a adept fit for the first line, try a humorous approach:

The function of this letter I was nigh worried about was this starting time line, simply now I've started, it's done.

The key, as always, is to exist yourself. Put yourself in the position of the person you're writing to; what would you want to hear if you were receiving this letter of the alphabet? Information technology's okay to admit that y'all're feeling awkward or unable to detect the "perfect words" – just keep writing!

What are some encouraging words that I tin write to a friend with cancer ?

After you lot're past the first line, dive straight into the principal part of your letter of the alphabet. Alison and Brian recommend that you begin past choosing a topic to write about, as this will make your letter-writing feel less intimidating.

"Information technology may exist role gossip for a piece of work colleague, stories from the schoolhouse gates, or family updates," write Alison and Brian. No matter the subject area, "anecdotes of everyday life connect the reader back with the existent world" – and this can be a pleasant alter for people who are spending lots of time at abode in bed, or travelling to and from the hospital.

In one case you've called a topic, go writing! Feel complimentary to provide lots of detail, and bring your reader along with you! It's fun to read almost the little details of others' lives; even for a few cursory minutes.

If you're stuck for topics, you could write about nature (the changing seasons), babyhood recollections, or shared stories that your reader will appreciate. Even small-scale observations can really aid to depict your reader out of their twenty-four hour period-to-day routine and requite them suspension to remember and reflect.

I experience awkward talking about the good parts of my life. How can I write to someone with cancer without seeming boastful?

"Don't experience guilty that you're having fun," Alison and Brian encourage. "Write about films you've seen, concerts you've been to, and books you lot've read." Your reader wants to hear most your normal life, and information technology wouldn't make sense to "edit out" the good parts. For your letter to be every bit 18-carat and friendly equally possible, it has to be honest!

That said, it's important to strike a balance. Avoid excessive bragging or droning on virtually your every success (this is good advice no affair who you're writing to…)

Ultimately, you should strive to write from the middle. Yous don't have to be a prize-winning author or wordsmith to bring a smile to someone's face up. If you're writing authentically, that'due south all that matters.

What should I avoid writing to someone living with cancer?

"Try to stay away from other people's cancer stories," Brian recommends – "be respectful that everyone's experience is personal."

Similarly, avert offering advice or opinions most your reader'south treatment choices, prognosis, or situation. Trust that your reader knows and understands their options best.

Information technology'south also a nice thought, Brian notes, to enquire your reader how they are doing today rather than "how they are doing" in general. It's easier to talk almost the here and now, rather than feeling pressured to summarize an entire cancer experience in a few short lines.

How should I end my carte?

When you're drawing to the end of your letter, information technology's also best to avoid being also emotional or overly sympathetic or empathetic. "Keep the tone the same equally the rest of the letter," writes Alison. A simple " I will proceed thinking of y'all," or " I wish yous much love and strength" or "I'one thousand sending you a big hug" is a perfect manner to end your note.

Lastly, Alison and Brian urge you: "don't over-promise! You may choose to write again but know that the reader is grateful for this ane letter." Information technology'south meliorate to avoid setting expectations; endeavour to write again, merely don't risk disappointing your reader or yourself with a rigid writing schedule.

5 Holiday Card-Writing Tips for Cancer Patients:

• Don't ignore the holiday season. Christmas, every bit they say, is coming. And it'due south best to admit this up-front rather than awkwardly dodge the obvious. Alison and Brian recommend that y'all "enquire sensitively about plans for the holidays." This is a nice way to acknowledge that you understand the festive flow might be different than usual for your reader.
• Don't avowal. It'southward all-time not to frame your own holiday preparations boastfully. Instead, try detailing the highs and lows in all their humorous glory! A mishap with your repast prep? Trouble finding the perfect gift for strange Uncle Boris? A cute story about your girl'south Christmas-tree-shopping experience? All these make for perfect holiday chat.
• Think near piffling festive anecdotes to include. Write about decorating the tree (your favourite ornaments, perchance?) or your favourite holiday films. Chat about your gift plans, or what games you want to play with friends.
• Share your thoughts about wintertime. Yous don't have to write nearly holidays as a rule. Instead, consider reflecting on winter, the weather, the usual heating woes, or the pleasant time spent in front of a warm burn down.
• Send a personalised note. "Don't send the round-robin letter you may exist sending to other friends," write Alison and Brian. Instead, write something more personal. Although it can be tempting to include your loved one with the rest of your vacation mailing list, their circumstances require a bit more consideration. A hand-written note is the perfect manner to convey your concern and care at a fourth dimension when emotions – and stress – may be running high.

No matter the season, writing a carte is ever a meaningful gesture.

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Source: https://cancer.livebetterwith.com/blogs/cancer/writing-to-someone-who-has-cancer

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